


4F

by in_motu_proprio



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, Period-Typical Racism, Stucky - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2015-11-14
Packaged: 2018-05-01 12:23:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5205758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/in_motu_proprio/pseuds/in_motu_proprio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Bucky's reaction to the bombing of Pearl Harbor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	4F

It was Sunday, so after Steve had closed up the corner news stand where he worked, he went to meet Bucky at the diner.  No matter how broke they were, they’d go to the diner on Sunday and grab a piece of pie.  Usually it had to be split, but Steve hadn’t gotten his first cold of the season yet, so they had a few nickels extra.  That meant a full piece for each of them _AND_ a cup of coffee. It was clear and beautiful out, so Steve just pushed his hands deeper into his pockets and bore the cold.  Because really, what else was there to do?  He was running late today, so Steve had to hurry which meant he arrived breathless and pink-cheeked. He wandered into the diner late, chatting to Bucky who was sitting at the counter.  Bucky didn’t respond, though.  

Once Steve unraveled his scarf and pulled down his hood, he heard that there was a government message playing on the radio.  He hurried close, looking between the people, then to Bucky because everyone looked ready to cry.  “What happened?”

“They bombed Pearl Harbor.”  Steve didn’t register what anyone else said after that, just zeroed in on the newscaster’s voice while he shoved in next to Bucky.  Steve listened in horror as the man on the radio described the destruction, the sunken ships and the dead sailors.  Tears ran down Steve’s face, and he wasn’t one bit ashamed.  Almost every other person in the diner was crying too.  Bucky wrapped his arm around Steve’s shoulders, also clearly not caring that he was crying.  

“I’m going to enlist.”  Steve’s voice was firm, his commitment full.  “Let’s go, Buck.  We can be the first in line when they open tomorrow and….”  But Bucky was just sitting him back down again, shaking his head and shhhhing him.  They sat there for a good ten minutes in complete silence with just the radio telling them the most horrific things.  The girls were crying hard now, and every tiny sob made Steve’s heart clench. He felt sick, like the world was spinning too fast. Not to mention the anger that was starting to build in him.  There was a short break and that was when the hypnosis wore off.  Suddenly everyone was settling up and hurrying home at top speeds.  

Bucky did the same thing, throwing out money for the coffee he’d been drinking waiting for Steve, and headed for the door.  “Come on.”  

Steve hurried after him.  “I meant it, I’m going to enlist.  I want to stop by the recruiting station on the way home to check if they opened up because of this and ….”  Bucky grabbed his wrist and yanked Steve into an alley, shoving him into the wall.  “What are you doing?”

“Shut up!”  Bucky’s face was red, and Steve could see so clearly the real pain in his eyes.  “Shut up, Steve.  You’re not enlisting.”  Bucky held him there for a few moments, clearly just to prove how weak he was, but Steve fought back hard, managing to kick Bucky in the shins but not much else.

“You don’t get to tell me what to do.”  Steve was starting to get steamed.  What the heck was up with Bucky?

“In this case, I do.  You are not enlisting.  You’re staying put.”  Steve fought his way free and ducked away a minute, angrily straightening out his clothes as he glared at Bucky.  

“So I’m supposed to be the only coward back here minding the home fires like a dame while all the other guys go off to kick the crap out of those bastards?”  Steve was nearly growling by the end of the sentence, ready to take a swing at any moment.  

“No, you’re supposed to stay home and live, Steve.  Basic training would kill you!”  Bucky was grabbing Steve hard again, squeezing his arm until Steve started to fight him.  

“Bucky… Buck…. you’re hurting me.”  Steve looked up at Bucky, wincing.  Bucky yanked his hand back hard before stomping off in the direction of their apartment.  Steve stayed in the alley for awhile, straightening his clothes out then walking the other way.  He wanted no part of Bucky right now.  He was clearly struggling and when Bucky struggled he sometimes got loud and a little mean.  Not that Steve was any prize when he got upset.  Right now, for example, Steve was standing outside the recruiting station with dozens of other guys, just waiting for it to open mostly because of those dead sailors, but partially out of spite.

He was denied almost immediately, but Steve wasn’t going to let that stop him.  He was already trying to figure out how he’d get to serve his country.  Right now, though, he needed to go home and lie down.  He was really tired and couldn’t shake the chill he’d caught waiting in line.  Bucky was sitting at their table when Steve walked in, jumping up immediately.  “Where were you!?”  Steve held up his papers.  Bucky’s face got angry, then he saw the designation.  4F.  “Well… at least that’s settled,” Bucky wrapped his arm around Steve’s shoulders and brought him closer to the stove.  “Warm up a little while I made you some oatmeal.”  

“… it’s not settled, Buck.”  Steve pulled off his scarf, tossing it over the back of the chair before his mittens joined it.  “I’m going to try at another recruiting station after I get warmed up and get a few z’s.”  Bucky threw up his hands and spun so his back was to Steve.  “What?  Don’t do that.”  Steve grabbed Bucky’s arm and yanked him until he turned around.  “I know you don’t agree or don’t want me doing this because you think I’m too small, but…”

“It’s not about you being too small, it’s about you dying, Stevie.”  Bucky reached over to grab Steve’s arm.  He yanked up Steve’s sleeve.  “Are you stupid or do you have a death wish?”  Steve tried to pull back, but Bucky didn’t let him.  Bucky actually pushed him back until his back was to the wall.  “You can’t go.  You need to understand that.”  Steve smelled liquor on Bucky’s breath and could see the pinkness in his cheeks.  He guessed he couldn’t blame Bucky for needing to numb his mind right now.  Steve got mad, and Bucky got drunk apparently.  It didn’t happen often, but sometimes Bucky just wanted to let loose.  Steve couldn’t because of his liver, but he’d enjoy Bucky’s buzz vicariously.  Today didn’t seem like a day either of them would have any fond memories of.  

“I don’t want to die, Buck.”  Steve pulled his arm back, or he tried to.  “I want to fight for my country, to kill some of those dirty Gerries and make the Japs pay for today.”  Steve was furious at everything right now and he finally had enough.  He took a swing at Bucky, which connected weakly. It ended up with Bucky laughing at him.  “Jerk.  let me go.”  Steve fought and finally ended up kicking Bucky in the shins hard enough to get him to yell.  That was when Bucky finally let him go.

“Laugh all you want, jerk.  I’m going to fight for my country and I’m going to help our boys win the war.”  Steve knew he was nothing to shake a stick at, but he’d be damned if he wouldn’t lay down on a wire for a better man to step over it.  At least he wanted the chance to do what every other red blooded American would.  “I’d have your back if you….”

“There is no if for me, Steve.”  Bucky sighed and ran his hand through his hair.  It stuck up at odd angles and it was clear how upset Bucky was.  That was what made Steve stop yelling.  “Guys like me always go.  We’re always there smiling in the parades and then….”  Bucky mimed getting shot and Steve suddenly felt sick.  It wasn’t as though Steve thought war was hearts and flowers, but thinking about Bucky dying was horrible.  It actually hurt.  Steve’s guts hurt like they were being tied into knots.  What if that was what actually happened?  What if he was stuck without Bucky?  What if Bucky died?  Steve sat down, his heart fluttering hard in his chest.  He couldn’t quite catch his breath, but Bucky came over and rubbed his back until he calmed down a little bit.  

“I’m sorry.” Bucky’s fingers ran over Steve’s shoulders firmly. “Breathe, Stevie.” He squatted down in front of Steve and took some deep breaths with him. Or at least he tried to lead Steve with the breaths. He could never breathe quite as deeply as Bucky did. They breathed for awhile as Bucky shifted down to his knees. His hands were spread on Steve’s thighs, squeezing softly. 

“That’s it. Listen, we’re both tired. We’re both upset. Let’s just lie down. Everything is closed for today.” James urged Steve to his feet and wrapped his arm around Steve’s shoulders. “Go get changed. I’ll bring you the oatmeal and then we can grab some sleep.” Bucky reached out and ruffled Steve’s hair. “It’s gonna be ok.” Steve just nodded, his head ducked a little. “No matter what, I’m with you to the end of the line, punk.” That helped, it made Steve feel like they might come out the other side of this ok. At least he could hope that they would. He watched Bucky in the kitchen as he undressed, pulling on his pajamas and getting into bed. All Steve could think while he watched Bucky make up the bowl of oatmeal was that he hoped _the end of the line_ was a long, long ways away.


End file.
